musics on my mind
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Tells a story...
has a familiar kind of feel plus i like the anime that was used
I need you now but you don't even know it
I need you now but you don't even know it
Amazing video
They're all worth a listen if you get the time.
I need a new heart for xmas....
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Navy pier at xmas you can go at 3am
There will be no one
The ferris wheel still turns
As though it's a popular attraction still
And when the songs slowly play
Throw the old broken PA
A new heart for xmas
She needs a new xmas
"Cos you broke it all apart
Put it back together again"
Strange holiday maniquins still move
As though someone was watching besides me
Their joints are rusty
They chirp like inside
There's something alive
Oh no, somehow it strikes me
I need a new heart for xmas
Cos you broke it all apart
Put it back together again
You hit me oh so hard
Put me back together again
Monday, December 21, 2009
busy busy busy...the more busy i am the easier it is to deal with things...
Right now I'm having a lot of issues with holidays...I feel even more like a failure than normal I guess. I know my brother's doing something over the top and I just suck. I know it's not a competition but i just wish i could get my family something nice as well. I almost cried in the store the other day after mom gave me money....My parents are stressed about money enough...i tried to give it back but she wouldn't let me...
Nobody Needs to Know...
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I know I keep to myself too much. I don't let many people get close to me. It's easier that way...the fewer people I let get close to me the fewer that can hurt me. I have all these feelings inside me and they're driving me crazy. Sadness, confusion, longing, anger, love, loneliness, restlessness, and so much more. It's difficult to sort it all out. Here lately I've been angrier than usual. Perhaps not...maybe I'm just showing it more. I don't know. ugh...it's so frustrating! ugh! Meanwhile while all this is going on inside me I paste a smile on my face and hope no one notices. Most times it works. There is the occasion where someone can see right through me and I don't know what to do other than hide.
I don't like pushing people away and I usually don't mean to do it. I've done it for so long that I don't know how NOT to do it. I hate hurting people so much. I hate being so selfish. I hate being so weak. I hate it when people see me when I am so weak and pathetic. It's worse when people know. No one needs to know how I feel inside. Their knowing wouldn't change whatever caused it and I don't want pity.
"Nobody" Kristine Sa
Nobody knows. Nobody sees. Nobody cares.
You walked me home at the end of the day. But you didn't stay.
Where you had to go, you needed to be, and I wasn't there.
How could possibly think I'd wait.
While you decided your fate.
Keep all your words that sounded like home
I'll cry myself to sleep alone
Nobody needs to know
Take all this hurt out of my home
I'd rather die here than let it all show
Nobody needs to know
I showed you all, the strong and the weak-- the pieces of me
were yours to keep. And when time came to leap, I watched you leave.
I couldn't set you free, couldn't let you fly. You were never mine.
And when you left, I broke down and wept, along on my knees.
I prayed that you'd never come back again.
God give me a chance to mend.
Keep all your words that sounded like home
I'll cry myself to sleep alone
Nobody needs to know
Take all this hurt out of my home
I'd rather die here than let it all show
Nobody needs to know
I let you in. Show you my cards...
You broke my heart.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Someone asked me what i see in one of my friends...when i tried to explain that person said they'd rather just dislike this friend of mine than understand him... That statement surprised me, especially because of who was saying it. I thought better of that person. Is it horrible of me that the first word that popped into my head was ignorent? Someone would rather dislike someone than understand them after going through all the trouble to ask about it. Maybe that person expected some shallow reply from me or a simple i don't know. Saying I don't know would have been a whole lot easier because it's really hard to explain. Perhaps i wasn't explaining it well? I don't know I just thought that was a little sad.